Selena Gomez released her new Apple TV+ documentary, Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me, on Friday November 4, and it featured several revelations she’s learned throughout her acting and music career. From her past relationship with Justin Bieber to her medical experience with Lupus and to her bipolar diagnosis, the Only Murders in the Building actress unpacked a lot of information for her fans.
Selena, 30, and Justin, 28, were in a tumultuous on-again, off-again relationship from 2011 to 2018. During that time, the “Baila Conmigo” artist suffered from a few health scares, including a mental breakdown in 2016. As she was questioned by paparazzi about Justin’s other flames, including now-wife Hailey Bieber, the Disney Channel alum admitted in the film that she wanted to be known for her own music and not just her association with the “Baby” artist.
“[Chairman of Interscope Records John Janick] called me this morning about the song with Justin,” Selena said in one beginning scene. “I’m like, when am I going to just be good enough by myself? When am I going to be good enough — just me by myself, not needing anybody to be associated with?”
Shortly afterward, the doc revealed Selena’s 2016 Revival tour had been canceled following 55 performances.
The film also unraveled her October 2018 hospitalization. Close friend Raquelle Stevens revealed that the “Feel Me” singer was struggling with her mental health and “hearing all of these voices” that ultimately “triggered some sort of psychotic break.”
Later, Selena’s former assistant, Theresa Mingus, recalled Selena’s depression.
“At one point she’s like, ‘I don’t wanna be alive right now. I don’t wanna live.’ And I’m like, wait, what?” Theresa said. “And it was one of those moments where you look into her eyes, and there’s nothing there. It was just pitch black, and it’s so scary.”
As the doc segued into 2019, Selena opened up about her hit single “Lose You to Love Me” following her 2018 breakup from Justin.
“Everything was so public,” the Billboard Music Award winner began. “I feel haunted by a past relationship that no one wanted to let go of, but then I just moved past it.”
If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Scroll down to see all of the revelations from Selena’s documentary, My Mind & Me.