I may be too old, or too lazy, to go through the trouble of dressing up for Halloween these days. The pageantry has worn off. Long gone are the days of Halloween pub crawls and other debauchery. However, one is never to old to indulge in a good dose of Halloween candy.

So what are my top 10? They probably aren’t much different from most other people. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Snickers, Butterfingers all make the list. It’s easy. However, as I think back on my years of trick-or-treating as a kid, I recall some disgusting and highly disappointing treats I received. Comment below with the worst “treats” you’ve received.

Candy Corn – unbagged

loose candy cornSo I don’t think candy corn is the worst like a lot of people. I don’t mind it on occasion. However, in my day I remember always having one house dropping loose candy corn in my bag. When I got home there would always be loose pieces at the bottom of the bag. First off, disgusting sticking your grubby hands on every kid’s candy. Second, I’m pretty sure this would be two years in jail in 2021.

Potato Chips

generic potato chipsTypically these were off-brand generic potato chips. Seemed to get these every year. Not sure if it was the lunch lady’s house and she had lifted a case from the school cafeteria. But getting the salty snack of white label potato chips never jived with the rest of the candy haul.

Raisins, Apples, or Fruit

raisins on halloweenCompletely disappointing. Unless the fruit is melted into a Starburst-like nougat, save the fruit and nutrients for another day. This is such a high-brow “Here’s a healthy snack kid”, I’m better than you move. I can only imagine the smug satisfaction of these people as they went for their 5-mile morning jog the next morning.

Spare change

spare change halloweenWell, ok. Not sure what I’m going to do with these seven cents, but thanks? Just toss it in the bag next to the loose candy corn.

Toothbrush

Another act of smug yuppie self-satisfaction. Of course, this was only acceptable if everyone knew it was a dentist’s house. In which case we’d probably skip it after one year of being misled.

Mint Candies

grandma candies mintsAre you just emptying your candy dish grandma? Make an effort. No one wants those Newport Menthol candies. Disgusting.

Circus Peanuts – unbagged

circus peanuts for halloweenAnother violation of Covid protocols that you probably won’t see in 2021. Circus Peanuts leave a lot to be desired on their own. Tossing them loosely in a kids’ bag is repulsive. Especially once they get affected by moisture and shrivel like a raisin. On the positive side loose candy corn, change, and circus peanuts floating around the Halloween bag may lead to super powers.

Peanuts

Trash. Unless these are ground up, mixed with obscene amounts of sugar, and then covered in chocolate do not give these away.

Sweet Tarts

These should be called tart tarts. Or they should be called “the last uneaten treat” in the Halloween pile. Do better society.

Pencils

branded pencilsGreat. Pencils. Sometimes we’d receive these and they had the person’s business engraved on them. Seriously? Promoting instead of giving away candy? Despicable. Here are some Loud News Net pencils for you kiddo, go have fun! If you thought this would be a good way to promote your business, please think again, for the kid’s sake.

 

There you have it, the worst Halloween candy treats you can possibly give. Comment below if I missed anything. Happy Halloween everyone.

 

Author: The Mean

The Mean is the founder of Loud News Net. He is a proponent of equality, positive vibes, human rights, cannabis as medicine, and not being an asshole.

Prior to starting Loud, he spent his time making beats, writing rhymes, navigating board rooms, solving problems, surviving, and being thankful.

P.S. He runs the social accounts. Sorry.

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Tyler Cowan